FUJISAWA, Kanagawa Prefecture–A young man and a young woman exchanged business cards at the next table over at an “izakaya” pub.

To an observer, that likely meant they had become acquainted through a matchmaking app and were seeing each other for the first time.

The 25-year-old Asahi Shimbun reporter knew that for a reason.

He belongs to a generation wherein his friends, having entered their universities under stay-at-home recommendations during the COVID-19 pandemic, took to searching for love on dating apps.

He was quite familiar with conversations such as, “Such and such app works better” and “I had a date like this through the app.”

FRIEND: APPS HAVE ‘ONLY ADVANTAGES’

A 2025 survey by Meiji Yasuda Life Insurance Co. showed that 30.4 percent of couples who had married during the past year said they had gotten acquainted through matchmaking apps.

The dating apps turned out to be the most common channel for meeting marriage partners for the third consecutive year.

One friend of the reporter said a matchmaking app allowed him to enter into a relationship in just one month after he set search criteria to look for women of his type.

“Dating apps offer only advantages,” the friend said.

The reporter felt curious to learn about what is on the mind of those who take the trouble, in this day of matchmaking apps, to look for dates in the real world instead.

He found the “Grand date search festival for 100,” an event organized by the government of Kanagawa Prefecture in late November at Enoshima Yacht Harbor, in Fujisawa. The harbor offers a sweeping view of the picturesque Shonan beach.

LET DOWN BY APPS

The session was attended by 47 men and 45 women, aged between 23 and 35.

The number of applicants exceeded the capacity, so a lottery was held to select the eligible participants, some of whom failed to turn up for reasons including cancellation on the day, officials said.

A resident of Hiratsuka at the venue, in his 20s, said he was attending an offline matchmaking event for the first time.

He said he had previously used a dating app, which, however, seldom matched him up with anybody, so he didn’t get around to seeing anyone.

“I like it this way (in real life), because that allows you to see the expression on the face of the one you are talking to,” the man said.

Things had been different for a resident of Atsugi in her 20s, who said she had had relationships with five men she had met on a matchmaking app but had broken up in a matter of several months in all cases.

“I have grown tired of apps,” she said in explaining why she was there.

The event was emceed by Naomi Araki, a professional matchmaking coordinator, who was heard saying: “Your future depends on whether you take the plunge to approach and talk.”

Encouraged by her remarks, the participants, who appeared somewhat tense, looked for dates during a time slot allotted for self-introduction, another time set aside for free interactions and so on.

There were mixers including a self-introduction bingo and a game of riddles. Toward the end of the event, many pairs were seen talking to each other in a relaxed manner.

‘BACK IN WORLD WITHOUT DATES’

What matters is if, when the event had ended, that participants had approached and talked to someone they were attracted to and could leave together.

“Oh, you will never see that someone again!” Araki shouted to encourage pairings. “Once out of here, you’ll just be back in a world without dates!”

Several pairs were seen leaving together after Araki’s encouragement. The reporter was later told by prefectural government officials that 22 pairs of attendees left together.

A resident of Hiratsuka in his 30s, a corporate worker, was seen pairing off with a resident of Yokohama in her 20s, also a company employee, whom he said he found “attractive as seen from behind.”

The man said he feels put off by using matchmaking apps.

“I feel safer when I can talk to people face to face from the outset,” he said.

The woman also sounded satisfied.

“I have to worry about bachelors in disguise on apps,” she said. “But this meetup is organized by the prefectural government and is face-to-face, so I thought it was kind of interesting. And I did have a good time.”

With the interviews over, the reporter realized there was one thing in common: many of the interviewees were continuing to try their luck offline after trying matchmaking apps.

An “expert” gave her take on how and why that’s happening.

‘MATCHMAKING BAR’ THRIVING

The reporter visited Escaleze (pronounced “Es-cal-zeh”), a bar on the 10th floor of an antiquated building close to Kannai Station in Yokohama’s Naka Ward.

The building with a retro feel of the Showa Era (1926-1989) has since closed down, and so has the bar, which is preparing to relocate and reopen.

The place touts itself as a “koikatsu” (date search) bar, which provides dating opportunities to men and women seeking mates.

Several pairs were seen deep in conversation at the counter and at tables in the bar, where foliage plants were seen lit by indirect illumination.

Pairs can share a table to talk for 15 minutes. Bar staff reseat the men and women when the time is up.

Admission is 500 yen ($3.20) for a woman and 1,000 yen for a man. There are no subsequent fees for women, whereas men have to pay 2,000 yen per table shared.

Koyuki Shinjo, manager of the bar, said her place initially had few customers when it first opened in 2014. However, it gradually came to prosper and is now visited by up to more than 80 customers a day.

COMING BACK OFFLINE

Shinjo, 53, said the inspiration for the establishment came from her own search for a marriage partner.

She got married through the introduction of a relative when she was 22. She said she got a divorce at 30 and set about looking for a remarriage partner, only to suffer “defeat after defeat.”

Shinjo said that, when she was younger, she “had no trouble finding a date or getting married,” but now, past 30, she was facing higher hurdles.

She attended matchmaking parties, but she didn’t get around to understanding her interlocutors deeply during the limited time available for conversation. Men ended up more intent on younger women.

“Why not create a venue on my own where people could take their time and talk?” Shinjo said she thought as she opened the bar.

Asked to describe the typical visitor, Shinjo’s son Hisashi, deputy manager of the place, said: “Many of our customers nowadays are tired of matchmaking apps.”

Long-time correspondents on an app may be disappointed when they meet the other person, because they may not be the person that thought they were.

Those who have left apps following similar letdowns account for part of the bar’s customers, who come here to look for dating opportunities in real life, Hisashi, 27, explained.

“A matchmaking app user may negatively perceive the gap between somebody’s profile statement and real-life impressions,” he added.

THINGS THAT ELUDE PROFILE, STATUS STATEMENTS

Hisashi in 2023 married a woman whom he had gotten to know through an acquaintance.

The woman was planning to keep a Java sparrow as a pet. Hisashi, already a keeper of one, grew close to the woman while giving her advice.

Both had signed up for a matchmaking app when they met.

After they began dating, they had an opportunity to show their respective dating-app profiles to each other.

Hisashi said he thought that he would never have been matched up with the woman on an app, because they were listing different hobbies and the portrait photo she had registered didn’t particularly impress him.

Still, Hisashi found her attractive when he met and talked to her in person, as he saw how they were building a comfortable relationship of mutual respect for each other’s views.

“I believe that many attach importance, in their love relationships, to what’s inside you and what you value,” he said. “But those things elude profile and status statements. There could, in fact, be wonderful dates among those who are being filtered out of your view on matchmaking apps.”